.februarily disjointed.

.2.13.08.

was introduced to a lovely dancer last night.
he was honestly the best sex I have had in quite some time. not a thing bad about it. except that now I want more.

i once saw him when armin van buren played at g plus. he was difficult not to notice. absolutely yummy.

delicious. just what I wanted.

a totally fluid fuck.
the whole experience was lickable.



something is growing, developing to go on my ceiling.
as always I am having a thing with words.
joni mitchell’s stardust song is always on my mind.
and then it was in an episode of six feet under—a really nice episode, too—which I have been watching again lately…maybe just today and yesterday??...from the second season after having stupidly lent the first to ada—and so it came back to the front of my mind.


so now parts of it will eventually go on my ceiling.


my cold has made my ears act up again. such constant pain and uncomfortability. and this constant balmy nasty damp cold.
and I want my home to be a lot better.
but this dankness makes everything exhausting.

or maybe it really is all just because it is february.



and the lovely dancer just called me to tell me he will call me tomorrow night. or…”evening tomorrow, I call you?”

i love chinglish mostly because I know that I sound worse then that when I try to speak chinese.

no matter how elegantly I could ever possibly express myself in my native language…I wonder who(m) among my friends here will ever actually get even a tiny glimpse.

so I guess that I need to continue my attempts of expressing my ‘words’ visually.


.i totally got a buzz off of that phone call.

being some rich person’s personal chef would be an awesome job to have.

except maybe for when they are eccentric and then they get really crazy on you.



.2.17.08.

yeah. and this month sinks further in.

i do really try to get over and beyond it beyond so many things.
way too much that i have been in and of and wanted no part of. ever.perpetuated...

i finally broke away.there is still a lot of visible scar tissue. detectable.

*gots to add bunches to this later. i am tired and lazy from work*